RISMEDIA, November 20, 2006—In markets where the changing conditions are negatively impacting the profits sellers are realizing, the sellers in question are anything but happy campers.

With sellers having realized double-digit gains in many markets over the past three years, it is difficult for those who did not act sooner to be happy with gains that are not as hefty as they might have been six months ago. The negativity being directed at the sales professional is unjust to say the least, and off-putting at its worst. Here are some tips that will help defuse the angry response and allow for more effective communication:

1. Don’t react: Take a moment, count to five, step back mentally and…

2. Listen for the message behind the words: Most anger is misdirected. It is typically the result of fear or frustration. Deal with the real issue rather than the fronting anger.

3. Acknowledge that you heard what was said: When you acknowledge you are not necessarily agreeing with what is being said, you are validating their right to say what they feel.

4. Ask for clarification: Asking a question at the appropriate time helps to diffuse anger and lets the person know that you are interested in what they are feeling. In addition, it moves the altercation toward a substantive discussion.

5. Expand on what he/she said: Try to get into the other person’s shoes by seeing things from his/her perspective. Probe by asking the person to share what lead to his/her belief/position. Ask what they feel the advantage or benefit to them would be by a proposed course of action. The goal is to move to clarity, understanding and a meeting of the minds for next steps.

6. Explore solutions: That is not to say offer solutions. It means making suggestions in a low-key way. You are trying to establish appropriate boundaries. Remember, when you behave in a way that shows willingness to come to a mutually agreeable solution, you have every right to expect to be treated in the same way. It is not your problem to solve the challenge. However, it is your obligation to behave in a way that does you and your company honor! RE

Mark Leader is the president of Mark Leader Courses. For more information, please visit www.leaderschoice.com, or e-mail mail@leaderschoice.com.

Source: Real Estate magazine, November 2006

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